Your guide to the Bali Expat Community'

Bali real estate is literally ‘hot property right now. There are some awesome houses being built and no shortage of customers it seems. Flicking through a copy of Tropical Living, the glossy mag that tempts one to dream about a fancy home, I read a hilarious article by the editor.

The article was entiltled ‘Your guide to the Bali Expat Community’. Here’s a preview.
‘Desperate Housewives
Most week-day mornings, you will find a dozen or so Kijangs parked outside La Luciola with cowed drivers nervously waiting for their employers to finish their Eggs Benedicts, Frappucinos and perhaps just the one Mimosa. Enter the restaurant, and you will see enough coiffed peroxide to bleach the Congo, Jimmy Choo’s for an entire discount store and a cloud of smoke emitting from a hundred Marlboro Lights. Sit as inconspicuously a you dare close by, and hear Fulham accents and Melbourne twangs discussing their husband’s many shortcomings (and short comings), the drunkenness and loutish behaviour of said husband’s bosses, the unreliability of the domestic staff and of course the utter bitchiness, dire financial straits, sagging bosoms and general disgracefulness of whomever among them couldn’t make breakfast on that particular day. The Desperate Housewives are busy, busy, busy. School run in the morning, a quick three-hour breakfast with the girls, manicure, pedicure, massage, yoga lessons, tennis lessons, pick up little Tarquin, drop him off with the maids, shopping, fittings, more shopping, afternoon drinks, dinner with the Johnson’s and the next day it starts all over again. Simply exhausting, darling! If you are lucky enough to be ordained into this most exclusive of Bali clubs, you’d better make sure your hubby is prepared to increase the limit on your Amex card.’
Man I love that!!! This guy is funny. I’m sure he’ll piss a few people off, but gain many more fans. He’s spot on with Marlboro’s. For the whole article check out Tropical Living.
I’ve met some charachters out here and the trinket trade bridge is at home in Seminyak. We should add that some of these folks, I’m talking about the Italians, try to look like they did when they were 18. Problem is you can’t put a 48 year old body and face into 18 year old clothes.
The undesirables category has a healthy selection here too. Complete with people who ‘own their own companies’ and have business cards to prove it. Problem is they have no product, staff, customers. Undesirables know that Indonesian men will be impressed if your business card says ‘Director’, whereas Indonesian women will love you if your card says ‘Designer’. We’ve got plenty of ‘designers’ living in Seminyak.
The Very Rich are out of my league for sure, and I will probably spend my whole life in Bali without getting an invite to a dinner party. That’s okay with me as I prefer my bbq. Heading into Boring Old Fart land, I feel most comfortable here. Like the author says, a 45 year old guy trying to stay up till dawn is pretty ridiculous.
Tropical Living has some great houses….if you are Very Rich.