Spotting a benchong in Bali

Bali has a Hindu culuture that is socially accepting of many things, including different forms of sexuality. In my neighborhood, Seminyak, there is a higher than average population of ‘benchongs’ (transvestites), who tend to appear the later the evening gets. I don’t pretend to know or understand what benchongs do, or what their ultimate goal is, but attracting men seems to be a common denominator.

Most straight men do not want to make a pass at a transvestite, on their trip to Bali. Here are 10 ways you can identify a benchong.

1. Height. Most indonesian women are petit. If she is over 5’4″ you might want to take a second look.
2. Physique. If the hot looking lady standing next to you, has the shoulders of an Olympic swimmer, she be may more of a ‘Mark Spitz’ than a ‘Summer Sanders’ .
3. Make up. Benchongs often pile on the powdered make up, to hide the stubble.
4. Adam’s apple. If your date has an adam’s apple the size of a college basketball player, there’s a problem.
5. Voice. Marilyn Monroe had a low-pitched sexy voice, which she faked. Benchongs often have an exceptionally low pitched voice, so watch out for ‘Marilyn Monroe’s.
6. Head like a rottweiler. When that cute girl with a fit body turns around, and has a head like a rottweiler, she’s probably got something else like a rottweiler.
7. Hands and feet. Indonesian women have tiny hands and feet. If your new lady has paddles for feet and bone crushing handshake, its buyer beware.
8. Standing in the shadows. My gang is very dark, late at night and on occasion, I have had ‘ladies’ approach me on my way home. People using this tactic are not ladies.
9. ‘Hi baby’. Indonesian women, even ‘party girls’ do not need to holler at stangers to get attention. If you get a ‘hi baby’ from a couple of Indonesian girls on a motorbike, keep walking.
10. The friendly tap. If someone taps your wrist, arm or thigh as they pass you in the street or in a bar, its a bloke.

Mick Dundee had his own way of getting to the bottom of things. I prefer to make some observations and steer clear.